Stupid Things We do as Parents

Everyone does stupid things in their lives…and some of them we do as parents.  Right??  Well, I thought we’d get this out there and you all can have a good laugh at the stupid things I’ve done and than feel better about yourself (or worse…depending on your own stupidity)…or we can just laugh together, right??  Right?? 

So, here it is folks, 10 (ok...there are 11 and I'm sure I could keep going...but...we'll stop there) things I’ve done as a parent that I consider an act of stupidity:

1. Put my first born on the couch next to me (sitting up) and did not duct tape him to the couch or use any form of entrapment as he proceeded to launch himself off the couch head first onto the floor…  (we had to take him to the emergency room later that day b/c he spontaneously spewed puke all over the table and floor at a restaurant and we were freaked out by it…and yes, it was my birthday)

2. Drove a car to grocery store (not my car) just after my second baby was born…went to go home and the car wouldn’t start…ha ha…turns out, I got into a similar car and tried to start it up but when it didn’t work, I freaked out…started leaking from my eyes and boobs, freaked out some more and than realized I was in the wrong car!!!  Go on, laugh…it was a long time agoJ

3. Managed to lock myself out of the main part of our house while my 2 toddlers were in the bathroom playing with the water in the sink.  Yup…it happened and I freaked a lot!!  Somehow, the basement door locked as I was bringing the laundry down to the dryer (yes, my washer is upstairs and my dryer in the basement…fun fun fun).  After I assessed and could not get the kids to answer me (what 3 yr old would actually want to hear their mom when they are playing in water and no one is yelling at them) I figured out that a box cutter would cut a hold in the door and I would be able to reach through and unlock the lock…yes, we than had a hole in our basement door but my kids didn’t drown in the 1 inch of water in the sink they were playing with!!!

4. Left a sippy cup on the back of the truck…and for some reason, said sippy cup is still there when you get to your destination…

5. Left the house without the diaper bag…have your kid poop in their diaper and not be able to change it until you get home…(sorry to all those parents who had to smell it that day…)

6. Climbed into a tube to ‘rescue’ your child b/c they climbed up but were too scared to continue or to get down…and man are those things tiny for parents…

7. Let my children fend for themselves for breakfast (just the older 2) when they were about 2 and 3…usually after a night of bartending.  Was never a big deal and I usually came downstairs to find that they ate some chips and crackers and made a huge mess.  One morning, my very smart 3 yr old was trying to open the box of the yogurts and couldn’t, so he proceeded to bring chair over to counter to reach the knives…tried to use the knife to open box, missed, and cut right next to his eye…AND, before he came up to tell me, had the smarts to put the chair and knife away b/c he didn’t want to get into trouble…Geez… emergency room visit followed by doctor ‘glueing’ the cut shut…that was not a good dayL

8. Accidentally pinching the skin under the chins while buckling the seat belt…and the bike helmet (yes, did it on more than one kid)

9. Let my daughter push my son in the stroller and she proceeded to let him go…down a hill and into a bush…stroller fell over and he wasn’t buckled in so he tumbled out…  (ha ha…this actually wasn’t me as a mother, but I was the daughter…love you mom)

10. Locked the family inside of Kyra’s room.  Yes, we were all locked inside her room with no one else in the house and no phone of any sort with us.  This happened b/c the lock on the door was on the outside (something we did so that Kyra would stay in her bed when she first started with the bed…another long story) and the door was somehow shut while locked.  Thankfully there was a screw driver in the room b/c we were still fixing it up and we were able to take the door off…

11. Leaving kid in bouncy seat without buckling…kids are pretty squirmy little suckers and have a way of sliding out of the seat…and yes, I’ve done this with more than just the first (ha ha ha)

I’m sure I could continue on with more acts of stupidity…but I think you all can get the gist of it…We all do stupid things!!  What have you done as a parent that’s made you feel like an idiot…I’d love to hear about your adventures of parenting!!