Kids and Restaurants/Planes/Stores/etc

You know, I never was a fan of children in restaurants...remember those days when you could actually go out to a restaurant and not have a little half-pint attached to you??  They seem a bit foggy in my mind these days.

But, when you do get that chance to get out of the house with no kids and you decide to go to a 'nice' restaurant, there always seems to be that token kid right next to your table.  And of course, that token kid is not a well-behaved kid either!!!  I have no problem with loud, obnoxious, crying children as long as they are in those 'kid' friendly environments...you know, like Chuckee Cheese's and Friendly's??

Flying without kids...have you ever done it??  I used to fly a lot more...you know, pre-kids... and I always wound up with that kid kicking your seat the whole trip and picking his nose and wiping it on your seat kind of kid...and then, I had one of those kids myself.  My whole view on kids and planes changed and I was a bit more tolerable... but when I did happen to fly w/o my kiddies, I still got angry that there were loud screaming kids on the plane...I mean, who let them on when I was trying to get away??  Can we ban them??  Oh wait, they are working on that now, aren't they??  The kidfree flight...ha ha ha...let's see if that really goes through!!

Grocery Stores- this kind of store is completely ok to bring your kiddies into.  Just please try and come in during the day so that those of us that like to shop w/o kids (and go at 9 o'clock at night to avoid bringing kids).  I cannot stand the parents who thinks it's ok to bring your young kids grocery shopping after 9pm (sometimes it's a lot later too...you know, like midnight) when they should be home sleeping!!  Ever been in a Walmart late at night???

Malls- yeah, I guess kids are ok here too...b/c of course there are lots of kid friendly stores and rides that rip us off (ummmm, $1/ride now...seriously??  did the rent of those rides go up??).  But please, if at all possible, try not to bring them into Victoria Secrets...ok??  I know, I've had to do it too, but I would prefer not to.  Besides, they just don't make it easy for strollers in there, do they??  Well, actually, most mall stores don't make it very easy to get strollers through the racks of crap they're trying to sell..ha ha, I have to leave the stroller in the middle of the store and wander w/o them.  ha ha ha

Oh, and going out to any one of these locations is definitely a hit or miss with your kids.  How rare is it that you can get all of your kids to behave at the same time??  It's like that once in a million thing...right??  Especially with 4...how do you keep them all occupied and quiet and stuff??  APPARENTLY IN MY FAMILY, SEND THEM ALL OUT TO DINNER WITH THE IN-LAWS!
Yup...according to hubby, my children were well-behaved little rugrats in the restaurant last night.  Seriously??  Do you know how many times I've taken them out and they are like little heathens??  How fair is it that that 1 in a million happens with hubby and the in-laws??

OK- let's re-cap:
1. Leave your 'well-behaved' child at home when going to a nice restaurant.  If you can't afford a sitter, duct tape them to their beds and go...or have a nice candle-lit picnic on your living room floor after they go to bed!!!  PLEASE!!  Order in from that nice restaurant!!

2. Go to a 'kid' friendly place with your kids!!  Just remember that there are other kids there too and you will most likely have a severe headache when you leave...bring a flask b/c these 'kid' friendly places often don't serve alcohol...seriously??  That's when we need it the most!!!

3. DO NOT BRING YOUR CHILD TO WALMART AFTER 9PM!!!  Seriously, shop during the day like the rest of us with kids!!  Kid time is during waking hours...put your child to bed at a normal hour please!!

4. Definitely go grocery shopping during the day if you tend to bring your children...go during senior citizen time and no one will be able to hear your child's whines, complains and demands!!!

5. DO NOT FLY WITH YOUR CHILDREN...OK???  Just get in the car and drive there.  Don't you know it will be a lot cheaper in the long run!!  If you're unwilling to to this, drug your child so they are quiet and bring a flask you can offer to the surrounding passengers...no, you don't get to drink if you are bringing the child(ren)...you need the surrounding support so don't be selfish with this one!!

6. Try to stay out of lingerie stores/areas with your children.  Aside from not being able to get around very easily, you child will inevitably be running in and around the bras, lace panties, and teddy's.  They may even walk around with a bra on their head and think it's cute (not that this has EVER happened to me).  It's not cute!!  Please, just try and avoid it??

7. When all else fails, just leave...walk out the door...go on now go!!  Everyone around you will be most appreciative...

8. Just a heads up for those that think bringing activities will help- they don't!!  No matter how many activities you have planned or how many 'distractions' you bring, you will ALWAYS run out!!  Your child will ALWAYS get bored.  And sometimes, they will take those 'activities' and it will feel like they've eaten them they go through them so fast!!!  drugs drugs drugs... (but try it out first...or you will inevitably have the reverse reaction and your child will be bouncing off the walls instead of sleeping)

9. You will NEVER EVER pack enough snacks/food/drink to keep you children satisfied.  This is a most definite for long car rides.  Just sayin'...oh, and they will need to pee/poop ALOT!!  Put a diaper on them and just keep going!!!

10. Screw it...just stay home and do nothing and go no where.   Until your children have left the house for good!!!   ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


later!!