I've been married now for 9.5 years and we were together for about 1.5 years before that. Obviously we fell in love and decided to get married, have kids and live happily ever after...but sometimes, lately, I have a hard time figuring out why. I mean, we only have 4 kids, a mortgage, lots of bills, and 1 "real paying" job. And our communication skills between the two of us sucks sometimes. So, how do we go about remembering why we are here in the first place???
I've read several articles about this very thing: How to Keep the Marriage Going...What Makes a Successful Marriage...Why Marriage Ends in Divorce...blah blah blah... I married my husband and I made a vow until death do us part and now I need to figure out how to make us better. And so, I've started to look at what he does instead of what he doesn't do. Here are some things that he does do:
1.he will take all 4 kids to the grocery store while I'm at work...I mean, how many husbands will do that???
2.he made me an awesome bacon, egg and cheese sandwich yesterday (even though I had to wash the pan, the sandwich was awesome)
3.he will let me sleep in on weekends...mostly...though it's hard to do when I am sleeping on the couch still (lol) and, he will get the coffee started...
4.he will do household chores as long as I leave a note (I need to stop thinking that he knows what needs to get done and just leave him a very detailed note b/c his brain does not think like mine...yes, it's taken me almost 10 years to figure this one out)
5.he does help out with bathing the kids when I ask...
6.he listens to me rant and rave and become a mad woman when I need to get the house clean and do things for parties/holidays (for some reason, this has happened quite a bit this year) and still love me
7.he did attempt to make dinner last week (even though it was fish, which I really don't like, and rice) it's the thought that counts, right???
8.he doesn't complain when dinner sucks b/c I've tried something new or I lost my train of thought and the meat is well done and/or dry, etc.
9.he puts the kids to bed
10. he'll get me my wine when I can't b/c I've got a baby on my chest...he may complain and tell me I'm a boozer, but he'll do it...
OK- so that's my ten (yes, I have this 10 thing listy thing I have to do when I start listing things). On my part, I need to start appreciating what he does do. Nobody's marriage is perfect...and if it is, than I can't imagine how that keeps you going. I mean, wouldn't you get bored knowing your life is perfect?? And of course, the #1 thing we fight about is money...followed by a close 2nd- discipline. And, I can't stand the fact that I get mad at him and he thinks nothing of it...goes on like I'm not mad at him or that I was never mad...that drives me insane.
And so, I think we need to go back to the beginning again. Court each other...love notes, do things for each other without being asked, being overly appreciative of the other (this is supposed to become more natural even though you are over the top at first), hand holding, watching tv in the same room (ha ha ha), playing a game, etc. I want my kids to know that mommy and daddy really do love each other(we do...we just argue too much these days) and that there is such a thing as a happy marriage!!
Now, when I start to bitch about my husband during hunting season, someone will have to remind me of the things he does throughout the rest of the year!!!
Random: I did thank him today for going to the store with all four kiddies...change can only begin within (right??)
Nursing bras still suck...I hate that they are so 'full' covereage that you basically see them with every tank top you wear...and I definitely cannot wear t-shirts in the summer (I SWEAT way too much for those)
Chin hairs...do you have them?? I admit, I just started getting them...and I also admit to tweezing them out... so if you see one, don't stare, I will get to it eventually and pull it out!!!
That's it for today!! Hope you all are having a GREAT Holiday Weekend. Please be safe and drink responsibly (#11 would have been- he will drive when we go to parties so I can drink...)!! And don't call me for a designated driver...call my hubby:)