OK...here I go about to make some people think I am solely writing about them... BUT I'M NOT!! OK??
So, we all know I have issues with my eldest son DJ, right?? I often wonder, if I had done a better job at mothering him would he be a better kid?? And not really better, just calmer and more focused?? Or is he just made this way?? If I didn't have any other children, would I be able to put more attention towards him and helping him figure himself out?? Am I meant for this?? I have never understood this kid and I'm really not sure I ever will. He is everything I'm not and a lot of his traits just annoy the hell out of me. Is that ok to say as his mom?? I love the kid to death, but boy does he just know how to push my buttons. And boy, do I have some crazy mental breakdowns after dealing with him sometimes.
He can have the biggest heart and will be the first to find out if you are okay. He will empathize with you like he knows exactly what's wrong and he will take everything to heart. I also think he just holds everything inside and gets frustrated with things very easily. OK, so we do have some things in common!!
This brings me to the things he does that I know he can't help right now. He tends to react first and think later. He also has problem focusing on things and/or re-focusing if he's lost it. He also can't sit still and gets easily distracted. Homework time is a catch 22 here... I need to keep him where I can keep an eye on him but I also need to keep all distractions away from him... LOL... ummmmmm, did you know there are 3 other kids in this house?? ha ha ha... it's like DJ is my quarterback and I'm his blocker trying to keep all those distractions away while he gets it done!!
OK- back to the subject at hand. Mommy Tattling. Have you ever done it?? You know, you see someone else's kid doing something wrong and the parent doesn't and you feel the need to let that parent know what their kid is doing wrong?? Have you ever done it?? YES!! I have... but, do you know why you do it?? Um, yeah, b/c it's finally not your kid that's misbehaving and you need someone else to know that their kid is the one making trouble this time and not yours!!! I think we all need to relax and look within before we start judging others. I know that I am starting to realize that I don't need anyone else's approval on how I deal with my kids. I also know I often am embarrassed by my sons behavior. Behavior that some moms assure me is perfectly normal for boys. But, alas, I am still dealing with that and have to fight the urge to make him just sit still all the time, you know??
So, if you should have any complaints about my son, please know that we are already working on it but thanks for the info. Next time just call 1-800- fuck you. Wow, that's harsh, I know. But, we are a work in progress as I'm sure all of you are, right?? No one's perfect...certainly not me or my kids. I just don't need anyone else calling me or telling me to my face the things my son is doing wrong. I also don't need any advise on his diet, schedule, exercise, tv/video time, etc. Unless, of course, if I ask you. That's what friends are for, right?? Listening w/o judging. I am blessed to have a few of these to combat the others!! I hope you all look within before you judge and speak!!
I LOVE MY SON and together we are a work in progress!! Love us or leave...just don't judge us!!
Now, I think I actually feel better.
That's such a hard thing for a mom to go through. But don't feel you're alone. I think all of us go through difficulties with our kids - whether or not we'll admit it. Most people just like to paint that perfect picture, and will deny having problems. You may feel alone, but in reality, you're just honest. Don't be too hard on yourself, or your son.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find a solution, or maybe a friend that can help you, without making you feel judged. Sometimes we need to just step back emotionally from the situation to figure it all out. Hope this can help encourage you.
I think you need to relax a little. Kids come out of the womb already who they are. All we can do is work with that, socialize them for the world and try to encourage their good qualities. A lot of it is process. I know DJ will get there. And a good heart is HUGE. Of course some kids are easier for parents. It's all about chemistry really, which kids fit with our personality better.It doesn't mean our kids are bad or that we are bad parents. And I think Mommies who tattle say more about who they are than about the kid.
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