Claustrophobic Mommyhood??

You see that person inside that box trying to get out??  Now, imagine my inside there but instead of walls there are children, a hubby, jobs, dishes, laundry, feeding, etc etc etc.  And that about sums it up for me these days.

I am feeling totally boxed in to being a good mother and wife that I feel like I'm losing my sense of freedom.  Does that make any sense??  The day to day struggles of Mommyhood (there is no listed definition for word) are making me feel inadequate and unsatisfied.  How horrible does that sound??  Feeling this way makes the Mommy guilt pour on top of the Claustrophobia Mommy and it makes me want to shout out and scream.  Wouldn't we all feel better if we just let it out??  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hey, I do feel just a bit better.  I guess I have to work on releasing the crap from my brain and body???

I'm not just a stay at home mom either.  I work at a library and I do birthday parties at a pre-school and I watch someone else's baby and occasionally I sell my baked goods or take pictures at somebody else's party.

I don't even really feel like drinking my glass of wine at night anymore.  Now that's a true sign of something wrong, don't you think??  Though, I guess not drinking it is better than downing the whole bottle, right??  ha ha

Change starts from within, right??  And if we start to change, will those around us begin to change as well??  In my recent experience, those around you (namely MY hubby...) do not change based on your changes.  My kids, though, will change their behavior to suit your mood.  I know I'm having an off week but I know that I've tried and continue to try really really hard to be a better mother.  Perhaps trying to be a better mother and wife just can't happen at the same time??  Or perhaps, I just got dejected knowing that my husband will never change and I will have to learn to live with the things that he does/says that bother me??  Does being a better mother mean giving everything else up...when I say everything else, I mean that crap that I do outside of the home??  Should I stop wanting more and just accept the fact that I have 4 kids who need my attention??  Or do I continue to try and better myself by baking (sounds funny, huh??  let's get you educated in the kitchen..lol)?

I think... don't everyone fall over laughing b/c I'm thinking... but I think I really need to set up some Goals for myself and actually follow through on them.  Including Mommyhood goals...along with some personal ones.  Perhaps if I write it all down, I can balance being a Mom and an Individual.  What do you think??  Do you set goals for yourself?  Do you feel claustrophobic in your life at times??

Maybe I'm just feeling this way because I missed my sweaty treadmill walk and (I think) my body is working on it's first period in 2 years??  Hmmmmm... I still think those goals would be a good thing to work on.

Stitches...

Max had a run in with the corner of my island earlier this evening... of course, neither parent was home.. so Mommy's Mommy had to deal with the blood.  It would appear as though the forehead area is now at the perfect height to the top of his forehead..

The cut almost looks like the Eiffel Tower, doesn't it?? 

Max, as most 3 years olds, have the utmost faith in being able to run forward while looking backwards and NOT getting hurt.  Now, my oldest son..you know, the one who antagonizes him the most??  was smart enough to wet a paper towel and start wiping away the blood... Go DJ!!  Max was a trooper and he was able to entertain the entire Emergency Room while we were there.  He talked a mile a minute, told some guy to cover his mouth while coughing, ran around in circles (guess he still has that blind faith that he can run around like a maniac and not get hurt), sat on his 'boat' while catching fish and speed boating to North Carolina but stopping several times to refuel, getting bit by lobsters when he stepped off his 'boat', used his 'bugs' to sting the doctor, yadda yadda yadda... kid wouldn't stop talking the entire time we were there:) 

There were able to glue his head back together!!  Yeah...no stitches:)

I'm sure this won't be the last trip for Max though.  DJ was here for a nice gluing when he was 3 too:)

On to other news...

My mother is here this week... I love when Mom is here.  My laundry somehow miraculously disappears and my dishes seem to be constantly getting done!!  Oh, and I can do a few kidless activities..lol. 

Franny is sleeping in her crib for longer periods of time but she's been awake until about 11:00 at night.  So, my time is still shot and I can barely get anything done at night... hence the reason for my lapse in this blog.

We had snow over the weekend and I have NO pictures of my kids in the snow.  Perhaps it's because DJ went to a friends house and Kyra went to a friends house and Max has been sick so he stayed in.  We made cookies though... yup... have to blog about that on the other blog I foolishly started.  The recipe is from the CIA cookbook.  Tomorrow..

Went out saturday night with my BIL and his fiancee.  Had a great time... drank not 1, not 2 but 3 strawberry martinis (and the more I think about it, I might have had 4 but can't remember... they were sooooooooooo GOOD)

I think I look pretty darn good!!

That's all I got for you today... hope you're all having a GREAT week:)

Car update... and the Wrecker!!

You know, as I typed in the subject of this post, you could probably say the car is a Wreck or the Wrecker is like our car...keeps on going and going and going and going and when she will stop, nobody knows...

The car being my 1999 Saturn which has about 318,00 miles on it (couldn't bring myself to picture the car itself as it's sooooooo not in it's original form...so here's the planet..hehehehe)

The Wrecker being my little Franny Girl who has really only just begun her journey in the world.

Let's compare stats, shall we??

Saturn                                                                   Franny
13 years old                                                         15 months old
Cheap car with no added crap                              Expensive with lots of added bonuses
     (no power anything here)                                         (very powerful will..stubborn I'd say)
318,000 (yes that's right) miles                              Low mileage though she's getting up there
Navy blue with a pin strip                                     Color depends on the meal she's just had
Defied the odds and lasted this long                      Devine Intervention brought her to us
Will climb that mountain (just a little slowly)          Will climb that kitchen table quickly and effortlessly
My first car that I bought all by myself                   My last child that I birthed all by myself
Dying a slow and painful death                              Living life to her fullest
We are always worried about the end                   We are always worried about her next fall..lol
Contemplating shooting her                                   Contemplating caging her
She's seen a lot of ME                                          She sees a lot of ME and often thinks she's still part
                                                                                        of  ME
No more FM, non-power windows, non               She's nonstop noise maker... not sure if it's AM or
   power drive, poor heat, etc                                           FM, high power of everything, great body
                                                                                        heat

I know I'd much rather have my good old Franny the Wrecker... but, I also wish the Wrecked Car would stick around just a little bit longer, you know??

Long story short...they called to say the car was ready and they couldn't find anything wrong with it.  So, we trek down to get the car (45 min both ways... you know, like 2-3 days worth of gas for the truck)... Hubby warms it up (b/c it starts)... pulls out onto the road and sits at the light.  Dead.. doesn't want to start again.  So, there's hubby, getting out of the car (I'm like 2 cars behind him) trying to push it across the street back to the car place.  Um, did I mention that this area is a Hasidic based community and no one seems to care that a man is pushing a car across the street...and I thought he was gonna get plowed a couple of times by these idiot drivers.  Some nice guy driving a garbage truck pulled over and helped him push it over the curb, though.
So, NOW they find something wrong with it... wonder what they'll charge us for it??  With towing and them looking and finding nothing, we've already spent like $175 bucks.  I don't think she's worth even that much..

And so, the search for a new commuter car begins.  Only, she won't be mine... And this time, we've got to get the Hubster an automatic...lol

Now, about that other Wrecker I got... yup, she's still a Wreck and her sleeping habits are perhaps getting just a tad better.  Think I finally convince the Hubster that HE needs to get her in the middle of the night so that she will not expect a BOOB... do you know how hard it is to NOT give a Boob at 2AM when you are completely exhausted and she is completely relentless??  It's like putting a crack addict next to some white powder and telling them not to touch it...you know??

Have a great day:)

Temperamental Car Troubles:(

So... I went to the gym last night (yes, this is becoming a 1x a week thing...yeah) and I'm sweating my ASS off on the treadmill.  I have on black sweats and a blue long sleeve shirt (so, I really did look all bruised up)... the sweat is dripping down my face and in my pits and I'm really excited about it (really, I was).. oh, and did I mention I was watching Paula Deen and Son make some really fattening foods while I was sweating my ASS off on the treadmill??

And guess who called??  I know, you're thinking, what are you doing with your phone while you're working out, right??  ha ha... hey, when you've got kids and a hubby who drives a shit car on a really long shitty commute, you bring the phone with you just in case, you know??  good thing I had that sucker sitting on top of the treadmill because Hubby broke down.  Yup... car completely stopped working while he was driving on the highway.  Now, I know this car has made it a LONG time and I know we keep putting bandaids on it just to keep her going for a little bit more and I totally knew this day was gonna come.  But, why now??  couldn't she have held on for a few more months??  Nope...

Oh, and did I mention that his cell phone was gonna die and he had no charger in the car with him??  Stupid Man!!  But, on a plus side, the car made it over the bridge...

So, I cooled down and called a tow truck for him.  And proceeded to find a place to have the car towed to.  Did I mention I was at the gym and his phone was about to die??  Special thanks to the guy at the desk at the gym for looking up #'s for me so I could call around while dripping sweat on the lobby floor in my mismatched work-out clothes!!

Did I also mention that neither of my kids had their homework with them and neither kid had even started their homework before we left the house??  Hey, at least I fed them dinner.  This was a good thing, because I barely had any snacks hidden in my purse last night and there were no extra snacks lying around the front seat or on the floor in the back.  I totally wasn't prepared to feed them anything else until we got home from the gym.  Now I need to start remembering to leave snacks randomly in the truck and my purse again.  But, I did find 1 baby granola bar, 1 regular granola bar, 5 cheese nips (not bags, actual cheese nips) and a package of those mini peanut butter cups (whew...that was my dinner, er, um, snack).

So, we figure out where hubby is getting towed and I head to the dance place where Kyra is still in class... we wait until she's done and go on our merry way to pick up the hubster!!  Good thing I worked out b/c my actual dinner of MacDonald's was a wash!!  And I was planning on a nice healthy salad and lasagna last night..

Franny, of course, fell asleep in the car and wound up being awake until about 12 midnight.  That kinda sucked.  Max went from the car to bed and protested every second of it...he was exhausted.  DJ/Kyra got their homework done (I put the timer on and told them they HAD to be done before it went off) and let them watch about 15 minutes of TV before shipping their butts up to bed.

That was a FUN night!!

Oh, and turns out they couldn't find anything wrong with the car.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ah ah aha ha ha ah ahah aha ha ah ahaha h

Have a GREAT night!!

Dentist and Cupcakes..

I really do hate the dentist.  But, I really do love cupcakes.  So, if I had to start off with something I didn't like, thought I'd end the day doing something I do like:)

Here are some things about the dentist that I know we all can't stand (had some lovely cavities filled... cleanings are a little different...well, maybe not)

• The sound of the drill... I tense up and squeeze my hands even though I really can't feel a thing
• The lovely NUMB lips, teeth, nose, eyes, jaw... yup... the whole right side of my face was completely numb
• The way they ask you to rinse after the Numbing Juice is at 100%... I think they have little cameras up and watch us during their lunch breaks so they can laugh... ummmmm... drool much??
• The TV's they now have in all of their rooms... yeah, sure, because I can actually watch it let alone hear it while you are working on me???
• The way the dentist seems to wrap their arms around your head while holding your mouth open... oh, and your head is twisted and at an odd angle and your mouth is so completely open that your jaw locks into place and you have to pop it back in...
• The VACUUM... can't these people practice on something so that they keep it off of you cheek??  I mean, I know I can't feel it on the Numb side, but every time it starts sucking on my other cheek, I CAN FEEL IT!!!
• The terminology they use while shoving things into your mouth... um, whatever happened to common tools like the scalpel and stuff??
• I love when ask you how your doing..  I just want to spit at them b/c that's about all I can manage at the time anyway.  Well, that or some drool...ha ha ha

OK...I'm done ranting.  At least my dentist cares about my teeth.  If I miss a cleaning, they call and eventually send a letter scolding me for not coming in...

On to the cupcakes of the day.. so, DJ's birthday was 2 days ago and I am bringing in cupcakes for his class.  I asked him what he wanted and his request was simple: blue cupcakes with snowmen on them and snow in the background.  Yup... simple.  Oh, and I had to make sure there was something for a kid who is allergic to flour... please Mom, you have to make him a cupcake too.  Well, he got blue cupcakes with a snowman...no snow (my hand got too tired from squeezing out the frosting while making the snowmen) and we bought a gluten free thingy for the kid:)

Who put the Crank in my Pants???

Wow... I have been CRANKY these past 2 days.  Woke up yesterday on a rip roaring roll and was just a little mean.  OK, I was a lot mean...especially to hubby.  sorry hubby... am thinking these sleepless nights just get to me sometimes and everything seems like a bigger deal than it really is,you know??

And, yesterday was DJ's birthday so I had to try really hard not to be mean to him... So hard when you're completely exhausted.  My back is constantly bothering me these days too.  I know it's all muscular and stuff... trying to stretch it out and my muscles complain back at me by cramping up.  Holding babies and washing dishes and making dinner and crap doesn't help the cause either!!

Went to the library yesterday to see the Bossy Frog guy sing and play instruments... kids had fun.  Max, I think, enjoyed it the most.  And the guy sang Happy Birthday to DJ while we were there.

Franny even got in on it...one shoed and all..lol

Afterwards, DJ went to a friends house for a playdate b/c the whole city birthday plans were postponed.  They took him to Quick Check and he got himself a Freezy thingy.  He totally loves those things and mixes all the flavors together.  Yuck... but I guess whatever makes him happy, right??

I went to a friends house last night for a Girls Night.  Seems a common thing for women to cancel out on these things as everyone cancelled out on her last minute except for 2 of us.  I know exactly how that feels...but that's another story!!  I really wasn't up for going b/c I've been tired and cranky...but I went and had a good time just talking and relaxing.

Today we celebrated DJ's birthday with my step-father, his wife, and hubby's mother.  My niece was sick so they couldn't make it and my mother will be here next week instead of this week.  So we will celebrate again next week... I am sure DJ won't mind another celebration and some Friendly's..

Grandma's spending the night... her first sleep-over here ever.  Hope she sleeps ok.  I have to get up bright and early to head out to the dentist.  Not my favorite thing in the world.  I will be drooling all over the place and talking funny b/c they will be numbing me up for not 1... not 2... but 3 small cavities.  YUCK!!  Good thing hubby is off tomorrow so he can watch all of our wonderful, well behaved children along with Baby C until I get home... wish I could be a fly on the wall..ha ha

Hope you all have a fabulous day!!

Blogger Block...

Yeah, that's right...I have Blogger's Block... actually, I have so much going on in my head that I can't seem to focus and actually write about it all in a cohesive manner:)  So, I think I'll just ramble about a few things and be done with it, ok??

Siblings I'm gonna start with this quote I found about family:

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood,
but of respect and joy in each other's life."  -Richard Back

Hmmmm... that must mean that I have a huge family outside of my blood relatives.  But, it also makes me wonder if I should accept this and not worry about those brothers of mine or if I should fight harder to stay in their lives and keep me in theirs.  I have a total of 3 brothers.  My 2 older brothers grew up far away from me and my little brother.  They grew up knowing who their 'blood' father was in a very different lifestyle than mine. I don't know them very well but I do know they are my brothers.  The oldest lives out in CA with his wife and kids.  The next one in line lives in IL with his new wife and her kids.  My younger brother lives about 7 minutes away but sometimes feels like he, too, lives a million miles away.  It saddens me that we can't seem to have the sibling relationships I see so often.  We barely speak to one another and sometimes it feels like we are disowned by one of them.  Are we all so consumed in our day to day worlds that we forget about those beings that are part of us??  I know I have a tendency to do this.  I also know that it hurts a lot when you get your Christmas card returned from one of them... supposedly b/c they are no longer at that address.  Because of this particular brothers occupation, I have to wonder if he, himself, put the sticker on the card to say the address is invalid and there is no forwarding address.  I mean, it took more than 3 weeks to come back.  And you have to wonder (well, you don't have to, but I do) what you did wrong in their eyes to cut off communication to you.

Hmm... thinking... perhaps I should just embrace the closest living bro I got and make more of an effort??  It just feels like schedules are soooooo completely off all the time.  Having 4 kids makes it really hard to find the time during normal hours... and you also have to consider their schedules and crap.

In our family, all of us siblings can come together in times of tragedy but rarely in any other times of life.  In another life, I wish we all grew up together in the same house and knew each of our parents the same way and knew each other better.  But, alas, this is the life we were given and shouldn't we make the best of it??

And so, with my sibling relationships as they are, I am on a mission to instill in my kids that they are brothers and sisters and they will always need EACH OTHER.  Respect each other, make time for each other and like each other.  Is it really that hard??  And while I'm at it, can I also request that they stop looking at each other, stop saying bad words to each other, stop antagonizing each other, stop trying to out do the other and be happy for each others accomplishments, stop tattling on each other, stop whining about each other, share with each other, etc etc etc???

Now the crap that has kept me away from the computer and all my responsiblities as a blogging momma:
     Yesterday

• Franny doctor appt in the morning (receiving 2 shots)
• Baby C arrives (and doesn't sleep his full 2-2.5 hrs of napping time)
• Franny barely sleeps 30 minutes
• Franny follows me into the computer room and tears the place apart so I just leave the room instead
• Franny wakes up too many times in the middle of the night so I fall asleep early
• Max wants a snack
• Max wants a movie
• Max wants to do a puzzle that is 750 pieces (ha ha ha...talked him down to a 100 pc)
• No library work b/c babysitter couldn't watch kiddies
• Take Kyra to dance
• Stop at library to pick up check and get books... forgot to get my check but got lots of books
• Make dinner for Sunday b-day meal
• Make dinner for that night
• PTA meeting
• Franny doesn't pass out 'til about 10

     Today

• Get big kids on bus
• Do dishes
• Baby J arrives
• Baby C arrives
• Plumber arrives to tell us we need new Well Pump... yeah... stupid money pit house...
• Big kids have 1/2 day
• Hubby working from home
• Schedule is never a schedule when all this happens
• Make lunches/snacks/movies
• Baby J leaves
• Franny barely sleeps
• Take DJ to his classes
• Scarf down dinner
• Try and put Franny to sleep... after 10pm tonight (she slept for a bit while I was out with DJ..boo)

And here I am...blogging all my crap for you to read about.  

AND- tomorrow DJ turns 9!!  He was supposed to go into the city tomorrow with hubby and 2 friends.  But, we weren't going to have a sitter for the other kids while I went to one of my jobs.  Turns out, the job cancelled so they totally could've gone into the city.  BUT, good thing they aren't going b/c it is going to be COLD!!  

OK- I think that's about all I have in me.  Hope you all are having a fabulous day/night!!

Texas Multi Mamas...have you seen it??

So, I had about an hour and a half today where both babies slept and Max kept himself entertained and I found myself for a loss of what to do.  I didn't want to make a lot of noise b/c one of those babies sleeps downstairs, you know??  I decided to make myself some lunch, pop a squat on my couch, and see what kind of daytime crap was on the TV...

Ran into this show on the WE tv channel- Texas Multi Momas.  It's supposed to be a show about women in TX who have multiples (you know, children).  Apparently they all met at some support group...though I think they all met at the casting call for the show..LOL  As I was watching the show, I have to ask and/or comment the following:

1- Is this a real show about moms who have multiple babies at one time or is it fake??  Because they all looked perfectly made up and dressed impeccably throughout the entire show.  I may not have twins/triplets or anything like that but I sure don't have the time to get myself all made up for day to day crap..

2- Why call the show Texas Multi Mamas??  I know I know... it's because they have a multitude of things going on for themselves and they apparently are actually Moms...

3- Shouldn't it just be called 'Wannabe Housewives but we have twins, triplets and quads so we are DIFFERENT...really, we are'

4- Where and/or How can they afford to go to the spa, bar, restaurant throughout the whole show w/o their kids???  Isn't the premise of the show about them having multiple kids??

5- Boob jobs and tummy tucks must be standard for Texas moms???

I know...'reality' TV where everything is a set-up situation to appear as though it is actually reality, right??

So, speaking of reality TV... did you catch the season premier of Dance Moms??  Now, those moms have some issues!!  Too many to go into right now.


Franny Sleeping update-  ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... not getting any better and there is certainly absolutely no pattern or rhyme/reason to her sleeping.  Just pray for a night filled with at least 5 hours of sleep please??  I can handle that!!

Have a fabulous Wednesday!!

We're De-Christmastized...

Ah....yes... no more struggles with the tree and no more finding our stockings all over the house and no more worrying about the breakables being broken.  We only lost 1 green ball due to the constant tugging and pushing on the tree:)  The living area feels so empty now... but I am sure it will be filled with toys soon!!

I love having a tree and being all decorated and stuff.  But, boy, do I not like putting it all up and taking it all down.  Especially with 4 kids who think they know how to do it better...lol.. Franny has a great way of taking things down!!

Yup...Franny... boy do I love that kid.  But when she decides to wake up at 2AM and want to play for the next 3 hours, I really really really don't like her all that much!!  Her sleeping in the crib is not working out like I had planned.  But, I guess that's what you get from an unplanned kid, right??  One night she'll sleep in there for 9 hours straight and the next night she plays devils advocate and wakes up.  Usually I can get her to go back to sleep at least.  Yeah... not Friday night.  Nope.  She wanted to play and climb and roll.  I honestly didn't know what to do with her.  And last night was one of those nights where you get her to sleep, put her in the crib and she's up 10 minutes later.  So, you get her to sleep, put her in the crib and she's up 10 minutes later.  Etc etc etc.  Wonder what she has in store for me tonight.  She's been in her crib for about 30 minutes... Perhaps I should go pass out or something??  ha ha

DISHES... I really hate them.  I hate doing them, unloading them, drying them, washing them, plating them...everything about them.  Can't we all just eat right out of the pots/pans??  Wouldn't that be fun??  this is one argument that will never die in our house.  And I always end up doing the stupid dishes b/c I can't stand them in my sink and on my counter.  Hubby says he shouldn't have to do them b/c he works all day and I am home all day.  So, if they are still there at night (lately, this has become a habit but I am too exhausted to even think about doing them) guess who gets to do them??  On weekends, when I go to a job/work, he still doesn't do them.  So, how does that work??  I don't know...I thought we were supposed to be team when it came to the kids and the cleaning.  Especially if we are both working.  And, contrary to his belief, I work all day.  Not only do I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old, but I do watch a 7 mos old every day and 1-2 times a week, I have another 9 mos old.  On top of that, weekends are not days of rest.  Especially when you have 4 kids.  And, I work those days.  And when I'm gone, anything I would have done doesn't get done.  You know, like clean the bathroom, vacuum a room or two, DO THE F&#^@NG DISHES!!!

OK... I'm done ranting now.  I've got dishes to do!!  Catch you all next time I can find some ME time at night...

I LOVE 3!!

Three is such a little number but when you put that 3 on a little human being, it sure does pack a big PUNCH!! Since I'm enjoying my 3 yr old so much lately, I thought I'd share some of the things they do... you can commiserate with me or just laugh along as you remember the good old days!!

- Favorite word is NO
- Loves to stomp feet and cry at the drop of a hat
- Has learned that they don't like to share their toys/things but feel that everyone else's toys/things belong to them too
- Thinks that the entire world revolves around them
- Screams... a lot...  Words people..words..
- Blames the Monster or Ghost for everything
- Claims to be a police man outerspace person Power Ranger and Max isn't home
- Has started to lose hearing... you will get the 'What' every time you speak b/c the ears just don't hear your voice anymore
- Randomly drops to the floor in crowded places, kicking and screaming for apparently no reason what-so-ever but every one around you thinks you are murdering them even though you aren't even touching them
- Tells you, on a daily basis, that You are NOT his favorite
- Randomly takes off clothing and/or diapers and refuses to put them back on
- Wears pots and bowls on their head
- Thinks the 3 meals of the day include candy, chocolate and sugar and will insist, until blue in the face, that you must give it to them NOW
- Has learned how to hide things from you... like the entire bag of chocolates they just ate
- Has learned to blame things on little sisters and/or big bro/sis...(ie. Max, who told you that you could eat all that chocolate??... Franny said I could...Franny is 1 and can't speak)
- Everything must come in 3's... he needs 3 slices of fruit, 3 chips, 3 hugs and kisses, etc
- Thinks they know everything and will argue with you until you give up...
- Needs to hear everything you say to them 1,000 times per day (yes, that's per day b/c you will repeat the same stuff 1,000 more times tomorrow and the next day and the next day, etc)
- Thinks markers should be used on walls, paint on floors and stamps on little sisters
- While they've figured out glue is not for eating, they have also figured out that glue makes things stick to other things...and I'm not talking about paper here..

I'm sure there's more...just as I'm sure you are ALL laughing... Three is probably one of the toughest years I've had to deal with so far.  So, while I say "Bring on Four", I really mean "I can deal with it just don't grow too fast"

3 year olds are interesting, entertaining, vocal, funny (yes, sometimes I do laugh at the tantrums and shananigans), curious, energetic,etc. little beings and I cherish every weepy, crying, wailing of legs/arms, hugs and kisses!!

But, seriously, let's get over 3 and onto 4... PLEASE!!!!

Thanks...have a great night:)

The Breaking Point is near...

Tonight, I was done with Franny.  How awful does that sound coming from a Mom??  But, boy, is she a mess..  and boy, does she make a mess.  She is so completely attached to me sometimes too... and this whole trying to get her to go to sleep is painful.  I'm exhausted and tonight I wanted nothing to do with her.  I just wanted to walk away and have a moment or two w/o her.  She is draining me lately and she is tearing the place apart!!  The girl doesn't sleep longer than an hour in her crib and at night she doesn't sleep until after 10.  So, here I am... after 10 and have my ME time.  I know...go to bed, right??  But, you see, she's gonna be up soon.  And I know, from past experiences, that if I fall asleep now it will be worse.  You know...when you get 15 minutes of shut-eye during the day and wake up and feel worse??  Yup...that's what it's like.

Aside from her pulling magazines out and tearing them apart, crawling up on the table to attack every bowl, spoon, cup, homework, etc on top, emptying out every bin by our front door, moving piles of dirty laundry so that they are scattered across my house, retrieving all of my baking supplies and randomly dropping them where she walks...you get the picture... her latest escapade is pulling on the lights from the Christmas tree.  And, I've been kicking myself in the ass all day for not taking it down over the weekend.  She wasn't that bad with the tree all last week...

In other news... I went to the gym tonight for the first time in like 6 months!!  And, I was able to walk for a total of 45 minutes.  Of course, I had to take a break and change a poopy diaper, but at least I did it.  I'm thinking tuesday nights are going to be a good starting off point.  From there, I will have to find the time to squeeze it in. I need to be healthier.  And, I had a semi-nutritious meal afterwards: salad and chili...YUM.  My new favorite thing in my salad is Craisins.

Hope you are all getting the sleep I need... and please hope that she sleeps better tonight.  I wound up giving up around 1:30 last night b/c it was one of those nights where she barely lasted 15 minutes in the crib before crying.  I almost went back to the couch with her...I slept better there.  I don't know what's worse: sleeping on the couch with her or throwing her in the bed with both of us...  I'm sure the Super Nanny would have a field day with us... especially since Max has started with the 'I need a drink in bed with me in a sippy cup and hubby decided to cave on this one' has started.  Gotta break that habit!!  We did better with the first 2 when all this crap happened.  What the hell is wrong with us when it comes to Max and Franny??

Later!!

Cribs and Crying oh MY...

This is painful... yes, she is definitely a tough cookie to crack.  I broke this morning at 6:30am when she woke up for about the 10th time last night and put her in bed with us.  And when she did wake up, and we put her back in the crib, she lasted about 15 minutes before she woke up again and again and again and again... Yes, I know.. let her CRY... so hard to do when you are concerned about the other kids.  I think hubby and the 3 bigger kids need to go away for a LONG weekend so my guilt doesn't eat at me for waking them.  Though, I think hubby may have realized the tiredness I have and why...because he's feeling it this week too.

I'm hoping tonight is better... the night before, after only waking once, she slept in her crib for 8 straight hours... can we have more of those nights please??  and thanks!!

Hope you're having a great day:)  I need a nap!!

New Year's Eve...

New Year's Eve...what does it mean to you??  What do you do on that night??  Aside from a 'new year' beginning, why do we all make such a big deal out of it??  Isn't it just another day/night??

OK, so we hung out, ate lots of junk, let the kids stay up to watch the ball fall and all that stuff.  We even had lobster...YUM.  We played Wii and some board games too.  And it was a nice family night.  Wouldn't it be great if we did this more than (I know...this is probably the wrong than/then...I can never get this right) once a year??  I'm sure most of you do this stuff on a regular basis...but we don't.  Thinking we should...right??  It was nice once the littles fell asleep and we could actually 'hang out' with the big kids too.  We didn't make any resolutions though.  I don't believe in them.  They don't work...nope... I need some 'lifestyle' changes in my future.  Ha...you think that would work??  Calling them something different??

Let's reflect on the year, shall we??
- DJ turned 8, Kyra turned 7, Max turned 3 and Franny turned 1
- There were sports games, dance recitals, Polish dancing, and gymnastics
- DJ made his 1st Holy Communion and Franny was baptized
- Cousin Sandy and crew made it out to NY this year for a visit
- Franny went international and traveled to Ireland with me
- Max started pre-school
- Franny stopped sleeping through the night and in her crib:(
- Mommy and Daddy realized they have some work to do ... on THEM ...
- My Mom is back at college and has been inducted into their Nat'l Honor Society (Go Mom)

Things to look forward to this year:
- DJ will turn 9 (holy crap...in like 12 days), Kyra will turn 8, Max will turn 4 and Franny will turn 2
- More sports and dancing and gymnastics... I love that they love to dance:)
- Kyra will make her 1st Holy Communion
- My brother-in-law is getting married in St Thomas (and we are going...yeah...)
- My brother is getting married
- Preschool for Max ... maybe ... we will have to see how the year and babysitting goes
- Really looking forward to Franny sleeping through the night and in her crib... Please??  Oh, and I know she will stop nursing this year... trust me
- My new blog adventure (yes, because I have all the time in the world I'm going to start a new one... about baking.. look for it soon)
- More family nights together... games and stuff..
- Our yearly trip to Myrtle Beach... love it there

I'm also going to try and actually EAT this year.  Yes, I know, we all have our 'diet' plans for the year.  But, seriously, I just need to start eating...especially in the first half of the day.  Gotta stop the whole starving and finally eating at 3pm crap.  gonna work on that one.  I'd like to say I'm gonna make it to the gym, too.  But, with no time to actually get there, I'm not sure how that would work.

Hoping you all had a great New Year's Eve and wishing you all health and wealth in the New Year.

Some pics of our night below: