Holiday pic

Holiday pic

Thursday, August 2, 2012


"If you start to doubt yourself, the real world will eat you alive"  ..a quote from Henry Rollins

This has always been one of my favorite sayings.. so much so, that I used to have it taped to my computer screen when I worked in the real world of offices and adults.  And, it really is sooooooo true.

Now, here's a little secret about ME that you might not know:  I am probably one of the most insecure person you may know.  Let's call me "The Closet Insecurity Broad"..ok??  Yes, it's true.  I second guess EVERYTHING I do.  Don't believe me, go ask hubby.  He fell for the 'Confident One' and soon realized it was really a facade for the real me.  I've come a LONG way since High School me.  In High School, I think people thought I was this bitchy, self-centered snob...but that, too, was a front.  I was really really really insecure about everything back then.

Now a days, it just creeps up on me every so often.  Don't we all doubt ourselves at some point in our lives??  Please tell me I'm not alone in this??  I don't know why I am that way...and I don't understand how others are so sure of themselves all the time (or what seems like all the time).

Going with this whole 'self-doubt' theme tonight, I am also very afraid of FAILURE.  I mean, who isn't, right??  Again, I am always second-guessing myself and what I'm doing and sometimes I just give up.  Why, because I don't want to fail.  Wow, how lame is that??  Seriously!!  I could slap myself silly sometimes!!

Did I also mention that I have a slight perfectionist  tick in me??  I try to keep this at bay, but sometimes I get really annoyed when things aren't done exactly as they should be.  I've also come A LONG way in this category.  For example, when hubby actually does the dishes for me, instead of telling him how he did it wrong (b/c it's only wrong in my head) I just fix it the next time I do we all have our own way of loading the dishwasher, right??  Right???

Now, become a MOM.

For the past (almost) 10 years, I have struggled to become a better person and be who I want my children to be.  And someone my children would be proud of.  And, yes, what a struggle it has been.  I question myself on a daily basis when it comes to motherhood.  It is the hardest thing in the world to do.  It also happens to be the most rewarding thing in the world.  I don't want my children to be 'un' confident about themselves.  I want them to believe in themselves and know that they are GREAT!!  I want them to go out there and try and try and try.  And if they should fail at something, I want them to know they are still Great and it's ok to fail!!  Because I know, that you cannot accomplish anything without trying.  And if they try and succeed, how Awesome is that!!  Right??

And so, I continue on this journey of life and motherhood knowing that I will make mistakes.  In friendship, I will make mistakes.  In marriage, I will make mistakes.  But, I also know that my children, true friends and hubby will keep me sane and focused to continue on and succeed!!

Conceive it.  Believe it.  Achieve it.

For Them!!
Have a great day!!  I will be attempting a new cookie design tomorrow for a great 'camp out' and a great friend's house!!


  1. I certainly get it. It's as if you were describing me in your post. So frustrating to doubt ones self all the time. Wish I could get over it and my fear of failure. Like you, I don't want my son to grow up w/those same fears and insecurities. If you figure out the secret to accomplishing that, please let me know :-)

  2. We all have some sort of fear at the things we do. I still question myself on my parenting skills and did I do anything right? I tried to encourage my children to be the best that they could be. Now at an older age I still think was it good enough? I now second guess myself often on the choices that I make in life. They may not be the best and every one may not agree with them, but they are my choices that I have done on my own. Happiness and confidence is what I look forward to with my family and "ALL" my beautiful grand children. That's all I gotta say.....

  3. sidebar: thanks for saying I am good friend 8) ditto 8) Honestly, and we can be honest here - for ME (and I mean ME) I dont find it hard to be insecure when I have strong faith in God. HE believes in me, when others might not...HE supports me, when others do not.... Just sayin' 8)

  4. I ment secure, not bad 8)