A Mom's Quest for Perfection...

Hold the presses everyone, I am actually sitting at the computer with nothing else to do tonight but write a blog... AND, it's way before midnight:)  Wow, are you impressed??  I gotta admit, I am pretty darn impressed with myself..LOL..

Life around here has been pretty hectic.. I don't know why.  Perhaps it's the four 2-legged animals running around here (you know, my children)??  Nah... Maybe it's all the activities said 2-legged animals have going on??  Nah... Or perhaps, it's all that paid and unpaid work I have going on??  Nope, couldn't be that.  I know, I know.. Nope, I don't know.. Well, anyway, I'm thinking of trying to get back into the swing of things here in the Blog World.  I hope I haven't lost you...and if  I have, I hope you'll join me again on my adventures through life:)

So, that brings me to my topic in question- A Mom's Quest for Perfection.  Hmmmmm... Crazy, right??  I have been a Mom for a little over 10 years and it's taken me this long to realize that I am totally not perfect.  Nobody is.  You can try, but you will probably die trying or be so miserable trying to please everyone that you'll start to break.  I broke... literally.  I am no hero...except of course when we don the capes and fly around the living room pretending to save the world.  I, as I'm sure you do too, try my hardest to be the BEST Mom that only I know how to be!!  We are all so different and we all have so many different talents and, um, also, those, um not so great talents, right???

Well, I just wanted to share with you all of my, um, not so great 'talents' with you just to make you all feel better about yourselves, ok??  So, here goes:

1. I am a terrible house keeper.  I really suck at cleaning and have always hated it.  And, so, I let it slide and slide until I can't stand it anymore and my head starts to spin around and smoke spews from my nostrils and ears and I just go on a humongous cleaning spree whilst yelling at whoever gets in my way to go pick up some crap before I throw it away and go vacuum your room, etc.  Just ask my hubby...he can attest to the smoke and head turning thing:)

2. I love to bake...  but... I have a really really hard time letting my kids 'help' me.  I am a perfectionist and want it all to be just perfect (do you sense a theme here..).  But, I've come to realize that whatever they make and however much mess they make (that I will be cleaning up all by myself) is totally perfect because they made it...and, we did it together.  This past Thanksgiving, I helped Kyra make an apple pie and she was so proud of it.  So, I've let go (sometimes) and let them join in..Look, there's proof..

3. I lose it.  Yup...pretty much every day.  Sometimes it's huge and other times it's lots of little blow-ups... but I lose it.  The 'every day' ones occur like clock-work as follows:
7:40am - DJ get your shoes on, get your jacket on, don't forget your lunch... WHAT DAY IS IT AT SCHOOL?????  do you need your clarinet??  Where are your library books??  Kyra- hurry up and get Franny's shoes and jacket on..  WE ARE GOING TO MISS THE BUS HURRY UP AND GET OUT TO THE CAR SO WE CAN MAKE IT I AM NOT DRIVING YOU TO SCHOOL!!!  DJ and MAX - go directly to the car..do not jump in puddles, do not trudge through the snow, do not walk through the wet grass!!  GET IN THE CAR NOW!!!!!

We have a lull for most of the day with the exception of Max and Franny pulling every single book off the book shelf as quietly as possible while Mommy is doing the dishes.. Or drawing on each others faces with marker because they wanted to be Ninja Warriors while Mommy is desperately trying to go through pictures on the computer.  Or, stuffing toilet paper in the toilet and/or getting water all over the bathroom and shoving training toilet seats over the other ones head that will eventually have to be cut off b/c it won't go back off while Mommy is bringing the laundry into the doldrums of the basement..  you get the point here, right??

3:30pm - Maximo, get your clothes back on...we have to get to the bus.. where are your socks??  What did you do with your socks??  Get your shoes on..  come on Max, please get your clothes back on...

4:15pm - DJ, please sit down and do you homework.. Maximo, stay out of the dining room while DJ is doing homework.. Franny - get back in the playroom until homework is over..  Usually, I am trying to get dinner ready, help with homework, keep Max/Franny away from DJ/Kyra, change a poopy diaper, etc during this time

OK, those are the major 'lose it' moments.  There are totally more... but, this could get ugly and I could go on and on and you could totally lose interest or maybe have me arrested or something??  Hey, there's an idea... will they feed me and is it quiet there???  Just kidding:)

4. I am selfish...sometimes.  I tend to hoard certain candies and hide them and not share them..  I do the same thing with my drinks.  All of my drinks.. from cans of soda, bottles of iced tea and my wine.  I don't like to share these things...

5. I have a tendency to wear the same clothes for multiple days.. sue me.. I'm not going anywhere and it saves on laundry, ok??  And it's not like I actually get to shower every day or anything.. I'm lucky I get my once a week overhaul..

6. When my children cry out in the middle of the night, I make hubby go get them.  I pretend to be asleep and gently kick him awake so he hears them, thereby forcing him out of bed to see what's the matter.  It's nice and cozy warm under those blankets and I figure I've been awake with them more hours then him due to lots and lots of nursing in the wee hours of the night... It's only fair, right??

7. I am a smoker.  Yup, that's right.  I smoke cigarettes.  Stop judging me b/c I'm addicted to nicotine.  I don't smoke in my house or in my car or at the school (well, except when it's night time and I've got a smoking buddy in the parking lot and I feel giddy b/c I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing on school grounds b/c I never ever did anything wrong in high school so I'm making up for it, ok)  We all know it's bad for you...I don't need lectures.. I'm sure everyone's got a dirty little habit .. right??

8. I hate confrontation.  I am learning, though, that sometimes this has to be done.  Especially when it involves my children..  Other than that, though, I have a tendency to ignore the problem and hope it goes away..  I'm a wimp that way..

9. Crafts.. um, yeah, I dread them.  Especially the cleaning up part.  I know they love to do them, but that doesn't mean I have to love it too, right???  And let's not talk about anything to do with sewing.  My own kids have already started asking someone else to sew something back up for them b/c they know that this Mommy is helpless with a needle and thread.. though, maybe if I could actually get the thread through the eye of the needle I might just have something there??  Maybe??

10. I'm thinking... I like to have a nice rounded out list of 10 so I need to think of something else.. wait for it, wait for it... Um, nope can't think of anything else. Oh wait... I just remembered- I am late for everything.  It doesn't matter how much time I give myself to get us all out the door, we are ALWAYS late.  It doesn't even matter if it's just me leaving the house.  I am always late..  sorry... at least you all know now that I will be late!!

Look.. the bottom line is this - There is no such thing as a Perfect Mom.  Seriously.  If you think you're perfect, well, maybe you are.  But more then likely, you're just like me...  You're perfect in your own special way tailored made for your very own kids!!

Be crazy
Be spontaneous
Be YOU!!

Oh, and stop judging other moms b/c we all do what we can!!  Unless of course they are totally doing something so outrageously wrong and really need to be called out on it..  Just be gentle:)

Hope you are all having a fabulous evening!!  And I hope you enjoyed this post:)  And remember, Party On!!

Holiday Season Hangover

Ok, so you see the word hangover and I know you're thinking it has something to do with the wonderful world of spirits, right???

By definition, the word hangover means:  a popular term for a group of disagreeable physical effects, including nausea, thirst, fatigue, headache, and irritability, resulting from the heavy consumption of alcohol and/or certain drugs.

I recently experienced these symptoms...but not from drinking (I know, you're surprised...)... more from the time period of Weekend before Thanksgiving until the day after Christmas.  Yes, folks, on December 26 I threw myself on the couch and declared myself unfit to parent for the day.  I was also unable to move due to headache, body aches, fatigue and a highly irritable attitude.  My children were ordered to seek Daddy on this day so that Mommy could begin the recuperation of the Holidays.

Having 4 children always makes for a certain level of chaos.  Having 4 children, a baking business that gets busy during the holidays, extra dance rehearsals due to Nutcracker, winter concerts, babysitting/library job, hosting Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve AND Christmas, being sick, etc tend to make the chaos soar through the roof.  Actually, this year, I think it may have been blown up and into space...but that's just my opinion.  It was too much for me (mind and body) to handle.  Here it is January 16 and I think I might have fully recuperated.

Why, you might ask, did we plan all that we did.  I sometimes ask myself that very same question...all the time.  Let me explain a bit...

Nutcracker - We have done the Nutcracker for the past 5 years.  It has become a bit of a tradition around here.  Like last year, DJ, Kyra and myself were involved.  Unlike last year, Kyra was also roped into doing an additional dance that was on top of the Nutcracker rehearsals.  A dance number that performed at the mall as well as part of the pre-show of the Nutcracker.  This also included 1-2 additional rehearsals each week.  She will not be doing that again next year.  It was great and she looked fabulous and had a new experience of dancing in the mall...but it is just not for us.

My Baking - This is my dream.  And as such, my baking does not get started until after the babies go to bed, dinner is cleaned up and my kitchen is spotless.  Because that is when I can get it done, I generally don't start this until about 9:00pm.  Which also pushes my bedtime way past midnight for a few nights during the holidays.  Someone mentioned to me that maybe I should take a break from this... I don't know how I feel about that.  I am really starting to make something of my 'talents' and attract more business... It is a slow and steady pace that I'm going at and is only hectic around these already hectic holidays.  The rest of the year is much more manageable.. So, I will not be giving this up. 

Thanksgiving - I wanted to order Chinese food and veg with my family on that day.  But, alas, the in-laws had no where else to go and wound up at our house.  I was told 'Don't go through too much trouble'.  But, I also know that the traditional meal was expected and it doesn't matter how many people you are making it for, it is always a lot of work.  Sure, I could've just ordered up that Chinese food and made them eat it as well...right???  Thank goodness for hubby as this momma wound up in bed for a bit trying to get rid of a migraine.. totally walked out after doing the dishes and made hubby entertain his parents..

Christmas Eve - again, I did not want to host this night either.  However, it somehow wound up at our house anyway.  This is the Hubby Family gathering.  Way back when, this always used to be at my MIL's house.  In the past couple years, the boys (hubby and his brothers) have decided that it can't really be there as MIL really can't be cleaning and prepping and cleaning up as much as she used to.  No one else was willing to do it this year and so it wound up here.  Even though everyone chipped in with food - there is still the cleaning (cleaned out the playroom to avoid certain toys getting broken), baking the frozen appetizers that were brought, cleaning up the mess and washing the dishes when they all left, etc... you know how it goes.  And of course, there's all of the presents that still needed to be wrapped b/c we always leave it to the end... oh, and throw in there a useless hubby moment b/c he wound up feeling gross and couldn't help out with those presents that still needed wrapping.. 

Christmas Day - this holiday was always planned and I had no problems with it.. It's just a little hard to wake up early (or earlier than usual) after being up super late wrapping presents:)  This year, Christmas was the final nail in my coffin though .. another day of prepping, cleaning, etc.  At least there were extra hands on this day to help with it all... 

Day after Christmas = Mommy staring glossy eyed at the TV with no idea what's going on around her (think Goldie Hawn in that movie Overboard...lol...)

New Year's Eve is our 'family' holiday.  We buy junk food appetizers, chips/dip, shrimp and sometimes a lobster and eat all night long.  We also play games and just hang out with each other.  So, this holiday doesn't really get hectic.  

And so, this brings us to the middle of January... DJ turned 10 two days ago and I almost didn't get cupcakes/snacks into school for him.  His 'birthday' party was just finalized 3 days ago and is just family (half of them can't make it) and I'm trying to throw in a Movie Night with him and a friend..last minute of course.  This is where that Mommy guilt creeps in on you but you figure it out and move on, right??

Going forward - I love writing.  I love sharing my stories with you all and hearing your feedback.  I am still going to write... my goal is to have an entry once a week.  I have so many ideas about entries for this year!!  

I hope you are all having a great day and New Year so far..

'Tis the Season...

Wow... less then 2 weeks and it's Christmas.  How in the world did that happen so fast??  

I gotta say, I'm not one of those 'Go all out' Christmas People.  I kinda fly by the seat of my pants and get things done at the last minute.  This year seems to be even more crazy busy then in the past.  And crazy stressful too.  I mean, who isn't stressed during this time of year??  You've got holiday parties, holiday concerts, dance (for us, it's Nutcracker time), shopping, yadda yadda yadda.  

My most stressful thing is shopping...and how am I going to get it all done as well as get everything I need for everyone on my list at a reasonable price... and than figure out how to get my own kids something.  Hubby usually gets the shaft in terms of presents b/c I just don't have it to give... I know, I know- planning is key, right??  But when I am on a week to week budget based on what my take-home pay is, these holiday extras can be a royal pain in the ass.  I know, it's also about what you give and not what you get.  I get that.  It just gets frustrating and challenging to try and explain to your kids why so and so at school got the IT gift of the year from Santa but they didn't.  Why would Santa not give the same to all the kids??  

Sidebar- which also brings me to the Freakin’ Toothfairy.  Shouldn’t there be some kind of guidelines for doling out cash for teeth??  We give out $5 for the first tooth and $1 for each additional tooth.  My kids come home telling me that someone in their class got $20 for a tooth (and it wasn’t the first one).  Limits, people, Limits!!  DJ doesn’t even bother leaving his teeth anymore b/c I also make them write a note to the Toothfairy and he doesn’t think a buck is enough to write a letter…

Now, back to Christmas Season… so, I’m stressed, tired and a little bit crazy.  Oh, ok, a lot crazy but you already knew that.  I just feel like there is NO time to get anything accomplished these days:(

Oh, and don't forget those Holiday Cards..you know, the ones you've been getting since December 1st??  How in the world do people get those cards made and in the mail so early??  Mine are usual sent the day before Christmas (if we're all lucky) and turn into Happy New Year cards:)  If you're lucky, that is..  maybe you'll get them sometime in January as a Just Because card??  Or maybe the picture will be taken, and the cards will be printed but they will never get stuffed and addressed and mailed??  We'll see how this year goes.. lol

And, yes, that other thing called 'Teacher Gifts'.  The mom handling this lovely thing at Max's preschool is asking for $20 from each parent... Are they serious??  I think I was the only one who had a problem with that amount...am I wrong here??  I never was one to go in on the 'group' gift b/c I liked to personalize it, you know??  20 bucks is just ridiculous!! Especially when you do have 2 other teachers to think about...what are they going to want when Franny makes it to pre-school??

Luckily... all of our Saturday rehearsals were cancelled so we can ALL go and get a tree!! Whoo Hoo...

I just can't wait to spend some time together as as family during their break from school (remind me I said this while I'm complaining that they are home...ok??) and perhaps reconnect with each other.

On a positive note, we do have Christmas lights on our house this year (we've been in this house for 8.5 years and this is a first for us).  On a negative note, one of the extension chords used in keeping them lit has broken off in the outlet:(  

Hope you can enjoy your holiday season a little less stressful then over here!!