1. You endure 9 months of torture (morning, noon and night sickness, backaches, foot pain, swollen ankles, etc) and still absolutely LOVE the little crying screaming thing that pops out and you wonder what all the problems were b/c you can't remember them and so you proceed to do it all over again...etc etc etc
2. You can not sleep at all and still have the energy to keep going just to take care of them
3. You can clean up poop, puke, spit-up (and often times smell like it) AND still smile lovingly at the squirmy little being that does it to you and think that the stains are soo cute and come up with what they look like (ie- that stain looks like a rainbow with a heart at the end or if you're at a different stage you think that stain looks like a sharp knife that might feel better being poked in your eye then having to clean up any more poop, puke, spit-up, etc)... oh, and you might also just LOVE the smell and think it smells just like roses. Or, you could be at that very angry/crying stage and think that it all just stinks like ass and when will this think just poop on the freakin' toilet already and come-on, just stop spitting up all over the place will ya???
4. You can hold your pee all day b/c you just forget to go...you have too many other things to do!! Ha...or you just peed your pants b/c you started to laugh... kegels I tell you are key... at least, that's what they say
5. You can multi-task with the best of 'em- you know (this may be too graphic for some...but here goes) sit on the porcelein God all while brushing your teeth/hair, nursing your baby, reading your piles of magazines you can't seem to read, yell at the big kids and drink your coffee!! Oh, and potty train the toddler...
6. You reach for a washcloth and you come up with SpiderMan, Barbie, Shrek, etc on the cloth and think nothing of it. Or, you wonder whatever happened to all your beautiful matching washcloth sets that went with those wonderful towels someone gave you for your wedding...
7. Take a shower while leaving the 8 year old in charge of making sure the 9 mos old doesn't climb the stairs and the 7 yr old in charge of the 3 yr old... oh, and you shut the door, make sure the fan is on so you can't hear them screaming at each other... ahhhhh, that's your peace for the day
8. If you can't take that shower, you've been known to stick your head under the faucet, rinse the pits and throw lots of powder or body spray all over so you don't smell... well, at least you won't smell as long as you remember to actually put that darn deodorant on..
9. You know all the theme songs from all the latest Nick Junior shows...and you know when the season premier for each one is coming on..and we all know that we have exactly 23 minutes and 32 seconds to get something done while they are mesmerized...you know, these shows just couldn't be a full 30 minutes, could they???
10. You're kitchen table is always sticky, your floor is covered in crumbs, your bathroom has toilet paper on the floor from the toddler playing, toothpaste is constantly all over the bathroom counter, pb&j stains are on your shirt (along with some other questionable stains), etc.
11. You don't actually have a room to yourself b/c all the rooms in the house become your childs 'new' playroom (EVEN THOUGH THEY ACTUALLY HAVE THEIR OWN PLAYROOM)
12. A multi-tasking one for working moms: you can drive to work while pumping, eating breakfast, putting on make-up, having a conference call and finishing your coffee!!!
13. Sweatpants and t-shirts/tanks take over your wardrobe... rethink this one- take back yourself!! Trust me...you'll feel so much better about yourself:)
14. Your relationship with hubby declines... but don't worry, you'll work it out and learn who each other is just in a different 'parental' way
15. You spend your money on food, toys, kids clothing rather then those manicures and pedicures for yourself (or whatever you liked to do before)
16. You try to pick up Moms in the grocery aisles instead of cute boys in bars
17. You learn a whole new you... once you have kids you become a completely different person!!
18. You can talk freely about your boobs, hooch, poop and not bat an eyelash... (and I'm sure lots of other topics) Got Milk??
19. You learn to just laugh at yourself...if you don't, no one else will and you'll just be a depressed sociopathic stay at home mom... ah ha ha ha ha...come one, laugh with me everyone!!!
20. You learn how to make sure wine/beer is part of your weekely budget
21. You could feed a 3rd world Nation with the crumbs left in your car...
22. OK- this will be the final one- You have the most rottenest day but the minute you walk in the door and you see your kid(s) running towards you, you forget it all and just feel COMPLETE!! They totally make it worth it:)
What's your 'you know you're a Mom when' revelation??? Would love to hear it!!
Have a GREAT night:)
When they make unknown pictures that you have to rave about, do something spectacular that you can say "that's my kid", they grow up really fast and then you will be wishing they were small again when your house is all quiet.........
ReplyDeleteOh, I did forget about those pictures that we are supposed to know exactly what they drew!! lol..thx
ReplyDelete