Today was one of those days where I was pretty much angry at my hubby all day long. It really didn't matter what he did...or didn't do...I was just angry with him. I can't stand it when he yells at the kiddies...I feel like it's his knee jerk reaction to everything they do. and when I start yelling, I hate myself for doing it but it's usually when I'm at my wits end with them.
How many times do you do time-outs and quiet thinking time in your room??? And how many times can you take things away from them to make them realize that they need to start behaving and respecting people?? And, how or what do I need to do to make it better??
So, today I decided that my children will not be starting any of the activities I signed them up for. Aside from the fact that I don't get paid until thursday and I have a very minimal amount of gas in my truck, it's a good learning thing for them...right?? I told them that they could not start this week b/c they need to show me that they know how to behave and listen. Now, I know that they are not going to be perfect...nobody is (oh wait...my hubby thinks he is perfect and everything he does is perfect...lol) especially children. But, I do expect them to LISTEN!!! So...how am I going to do this so that I can avoid the embarrassment that I experience when we go places?? Well, I'm not quite sure yet. But, I do have some ideas that I know I have to stick with...and I have to get hubby on board so that we are a TEAM!! And so, here are some of my thoughts:
- STOP YELLING...seriously, I am going to try with all my might to stop yelling at them
- Ask once and if they fail to follow directions, than I will fail to give them what they ask for next or I will pick up those shoes I continuously trip over and give them away (does this work with hubby's too??)
- Stick to my guns with punishments...even if I feel like I was too harsh after 5 minutes of telling them their punishment
- Be realistic with my expectations of them and expect delays and lots of backsteps
- Sit down with them and let them know my expectations of them and get back on track with that darn chore chart
- Put together a rough schedule of our days...to include meals, reading time, down time, up time, outside, movie??, school practice work, etc
OK- I think that's about all I can handle for 1 day...Let's hope I can do this and we can all start working together!! Wish me luck...any suggestions are greatly appreciated:)
PS- put Franny Girl in the crib around 9ish tonight (she woke just after my last post)...she did open her eyes and look around and than closed them and went to sleep...still there and I was able to make some brownies without worrying about waking her!!!
that is a fabulous plan...i have to ask though, when the children have privelges taken away, is it done EACH and EVERY time they are not follwoing directions and acting inaprropriately...consistency is the KEY...also following through. If YOU, as the PARENT cannot handle to the punishement, then DONT do it...Remember, when you consequence your kids, you are also consequencing yourself. Charts are great for allowing children to know what to expect, but parental expectations are important too..they will not be on thier best behavior all the time..think about "negotiables and non negotiables" what can you tolerate and what can you not tolerate? pick and choose your battles.
ReplyDeleteposted by an honest social worker
The charts have worked before cause they like getting to pick things that they like to do. Earning the bucks also worked well. Do a time sheet when each child should do a chore, read, have quiet time etc. Husbands help have children and they need to realize that when they get home from work their time doesn't stop. It is their time to have some quality time with kids WITHOUT yelling.. Yelling doesn't get you any where except hurt vocal cords and kids who are so used to getting yelled at they aren't going to listen unless you are yelling. Try controlling the yelling on both your ends as parents, maybe they will listen. Sounds like you may have a good plan.. Good luck
ReplyDeleteSend Hubby for another vasectomy!
ReplyDeleteThanks all for the comments...
ReplyDelete@honest social worker- consistency is definitely the key and something I struggle with all the time (I really do know that I need to do this and not worry about missing the 'good' stuff vs the 'bad'!!
I also think these kids need some individual attention which they don't get often enough!!
As for the additional vasectomy...no thanks...I really don't want to listen to the 'pain' noises that come out of his mouth...he is quite the melodramatic baby about pain (even though he thinks he has such a high threshold for these things...now, that should make you laugh)
BTW- I have trouble responding using my name- so it might show up as anonymous again...any tips for how I'm supposed to respond to get my name on here???