To work or not to work...that is the question..

Now, when I say work, I am talking about going outside the home and getting monetary pay to do a job.  We all know that Moms work all the time inside the home and do not get any form of monetary payment for these 'jobs'.  With that being said, let's move on and discuss..

I've had the distinct pleasure of working full-time with no children, working full-time with 1-2 kids, and working part-time.  The biggest pro to working is definitely the extra money that comes in.  Though, some weeks when I really only work those 3 hours, I have to think long and hard about that pro...and the fact that in 4 years when all my children will be attending school, I will be able to take this part-time job and hopefully work more hours during the day.  So, I guess the long-term potential is a pro as well.  Oh yeah, and I do get that break from my own kids.  I work in the children's section of a library so I don't get away from kids in general, but it's nice not to have to yell at mine for a few hours a week!

Now, the biggest con is that while I'm gone, my in-home jobs rarely get done.  And, I never know if homework is getting done.  But that's during the week...and I have to work out other people picking up and dropping off my kids for their various events.  Because, for some reason, every thing has to happen on Thursdays...you know, the day I have to work!! And, when I do work on saturdays and sundays, I always seem to miss something...but I guess money does tend to be more important than a baseball game and a family party when you need it to buy gas and food, right?? 

Now, I never exptected to be the 'stay at home' mom.  I always thought I'd have a career and someone else would take care of the kiddies.  But, life happens and we all know it happens for a reason.  And, I wouldn't give up the wonderfual and adventurous job of staying home with them...but, sometimes I still do think about the 'what if'...What if daycare wasn't more expensive than my salaray??  What if my mom lived nearby and I could count on her for free babysitting??  What if we didn't have all the kids we have today??  What if what if what it...SO WHAT!!!  Right??  I have finally (yes, after 4 kids) realized that it's ok to be home with them and to struggle in every other way.  Why??  Because we will never get these years back.

I think my first 2 kids were my trial and error years and my self discovery years.  And now, I have 2 more kids that I feel more of a  mom to.  Does that sound silly??  I love all my kids to the moon and back (ok, cheesey but whatevery)...but with these last 2, I am more comfortable with these years and feel more in my element...and perhaps are a little bit calmer???  Oh, wait, I think that might be the wine...lol

Am I making any sense here??  Probably not.  So, I will leave you with these ramblings of mine and perhaps go to bed.  Franny girl had a rough night last night and was very uncomfortable.  Here's hoping tonight is a better night of sleeping...

Random thought:   Pumping sucks...just sayin'