Saturday, May 7, 2011

Family...

What exactly is a normal family??  There are so many types of family units out there and we all have our own 'special' circumstances and the word family means something different to all of us.  And not only does the word 'family' mean something different to each of us, but we also have several layers of 'families'.  When I say that, I am talking about your immediate family, secondary, tertiary and so on. 

For me, my # 1 immediate family would include my spouse and my children.  They will always come first and I will try and do my best to make them happy and keep them safe.  That is my immediate circle.  Aren't we a handsome bunch???


My secondary level of family would include my parents and siblings.  Here's where mine gets a little complicated to those outside of this circle.  I have my birth mom, a stepmom, and a step step mother (I guess this is what she might be called).  I also have a birth father, stepfather #1 and stepfather #2.  My birth parents divorced when I was very young and I lived with my mother.  She re-married stepfather #1 and was married for the majority of my 'growing up' years...so, he would be the man who basically raised me with my mother.  Than, I went off to college and my mother divorced stepfather #1 and married stepfather #2.  Also, during my high school years, my birth father (who I didn't know very well at this point in my life) married his 2nd wife and my 1st stepmother.  And finally, stepfather #1 re-married my step step mother (I don't even know what this would be called).  I have (had) a relationship with all of these parental units and consider them all a part of my life.  My birth father has passed away (thankfully I was able to get to know him and establish a relationship with him beforehand) and I am still in contact with his widow.  Are you confused yet??  I'll make you an outline when I'm finished...it might be easier to follow...lol
As far as siblings go, I have 3 true blooded brothers...we all come from the same birth mother/father pairing.  I have very different relationships with each of them b/c I did not grow up with all 3.  And, in a really far out and round about kind of way, there is a step step step sister...(daughter of step step mother...again, not really sure what the correct terminology would be here).  So, since you are thoroughly confused, I will continue on to the next level...
My third level of family will eventually be my childrens spouses and children...and this level will be established much later in my life (I mean, my eldest is only 8...)
And than, we move on to the "friends" category...whom some of us might very well include in our 'families'.  I'm sure there are those out there who rely heavily on the 'friends as family' ideals depending on their actual family background.
So, there you have it...a very confusing family...but one that is what I know.  And my children are very lucky children as they have several sets of grandparents and 3 uncles on my side.  Here's that outline I promised:
I. Immediate Family-
     A. Spouse
     B. Children
II. Secondary Family-
     A. Birth Parents
     B. Step Parents
     C. Siblings
III. Tertiary Family-
     A. Cousins (I forgot this one above)
     B. Aunts/ Uncles
IV. Other
     A. Godparents
     B. Friends

Now, I'm sure, some of you would re-arrange this depending on your life experiences/background...but this is mine and I'm sticking to it.  We don't choose the birth family part and we don't choose the step family part either.  It is what it is, right??

On that note, I thought I would also look up a couple definitions of family:
1. a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not: the traditional family.
2.The collective body of persons who live in one house, and under one head or manager; a household, including parents, children, and servants, and, as the case may be, lodgers or boarders.

3."a group of people held together by bonds of love and affection." This definition encompasses a variety of family forms: a man and a woman, married and unmarried, with or without children, gay and lesbian couples, singles, with and without children, and even larger groups of individuals in various communal living arrangements. According to this view, what is important is not the actual family structure, but the quality of the relationships. Any attempt to create a hierarchy of family values is considered judgmental and insensitive to those in alternative families.

http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/glossary_template.php?term=Family%20,%20Definition(s)%20of
 
What does your family consist of??
 
I love my family...every single part of it.  We are a unique blend of random personalities...ha ha ha...I know you're saying, come on...really...  Yes, really.  I love my family!!  Immediate, secondary, tertiary and so on.  Sometimes they are frustrating and I can't stand them and they make me angry(but don't we all feel this way at some point???...)  I know that I make them mad at me...especially my children (ha ha ha)  But, God gave us each other for a reason, right??  And he has blessed me with mine...heartaches, bellyache laughs, and all!!
 
And, God Bless my oldest son today as he was communionized (is that a word???) today!!  I cherish every day with him (the good, the bad and the ugly) and cannot believe how grown up he is getting!!
 
OK- long post...sorry...
 
Here are my random thoughts/pics of the day:
JERSEYLICIOUS...yes, I watch that horribly tacky show and am addicted...
Netflix needs to add some good Reality TV shows to their line-ups!!

3 comments:

  1. that one made me tear up a bit - I love my crazy old family too buddie!!! Happy Mommy's Day!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can't believe you're to Communions already!! Congratulations! And that's exactly what we do with colanders around here too. They make an excellent space helmet.

    I think you'll rearrange your list as life goes on. many years in the future, I bet the grandchildren move to top of the list when the time comes. ;)

    ReplyDelete
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